Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Today, I cried.
And cried, and cried.
And then I fell asleep.
I woke up after dreaming about him, and then cried more. And then, there was a slowing sound in my head, like a heart beating, like a humming bird in slow motion.

It couldn't have been his heart beat- could it have been? Maybe its a silly thought. I always get horrible headaches whenever I cry- It was probably just that.
But it seems so likely that it could be....


Dear Diary,
It seems that everyday things get worse. I cry, and sleep, and cry when I'm alone. Being alone seems to take up a lot of my time.
Danny is so distant. He's just different-- he's not the same old Danny. I remember when he had 'morning missions' and gay day, and the days when we had so much fun.
Aren is gone. He's quit being the Ant Hill room owner. And StarShooter is just another guy. Cait is probably the second closest person to me, right after Danny.
It seems like at home, I'm getting in more trouble. My brother-- he's always doing things that he knows will annoy me. I wish we got along better, like most kids I know. And I'm getting yelled at more often.
Most kids I know aren't always sad-- most kids I know are rich and preppy. Even the one kid I know that   understands me is rich.
Matt is barely the same.
I wish things were happy again. My life could be a movie-- but a sad movie, like "My Sister's Keeper" or "The Lovely Bones" or something.




Dear Diary,
Today, I read all of Danny's blog posts. I read them over, and over, and over. And I cried.I miss the old him.


Dear Diary,
Today, I cried more than ever.
I need Danny to be here. Or for me to be there.
But I know its only a 1% chance for it happening. Or even less than that.


Dear World,
He's so important to me.
I can only wish.
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